Since I stopped working, I have been spending a lot of time to practice living. It almost feels like learning how to live from ground zero.
Today I went out for a walk along the lakes. A sudden peace just hit me when my feet stepped on the fallen leaves. The sound of the cracks, the feel under my feet, the sweet smell in the air, the amazing autumn colors, the birds singing in the air, and the blue sky. I started walking slowly, and cautiously taking slow but deep breathes. I've been walking the same route dozen of times before, most times jogging through it. What I realised today is I have been living my life always based on the future, always looking at something further away, aiming at a target. Then I rush towards it and try to get there as fast as I can. What I have missed is something more important than the future: the present, my life. I've missed how beautiful it is, how fortunate I am, by focusing on going and going.
Now I am sitting at the bank of the river, and writing this. I always loved river, and tend to think mind as a river - its form doesn't change and is every going, but every moment of it is different: sometimes when there's too much rain, it goes faster and loses the clarity. When it goes slower for the mud to sink, it regains the clarity.
All the past years I've been looking outside for an answer, but forget to take care of what's in. Slowing down and sometimes even take a pause has made a big difference in my life. I'm training myself to be more focuses on the present. Damn it is hard, my mind would just go wonder into the future and think about plans when I try to meditate. But life is a journey itself, I am making progress and enjoying it.
If you are reading this, how about take a moment just to breath - truly feel your breath, let it bring your mind, your body back to the present. Maybe you can also walk a bit slower, look around a bit more, spend some time just doing nothing.
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